Recognizing Where I Am and Letting Go
This morning I meditated on a series of words describing a gradual movement from wherever I am toward love.
Love often seems like something that suddenly appears. What I saw instead was something more like water approaching a boil.
Cold water is already moving. We simply do not notice much movement.
As the water warms, the movement increases. Tiny bubbles begin to appear. Eventually the water boils and movement fills the entire pot.
The movement toward love seems similar.
It begins with recognizing where I am.
Not where I think I should be.
Not where I want to be.
Just where I am.
From recognition comes softening.
Like relaxing a tight muscle.
Like stepping out of a rigid posture.
Like allowing the boundary between me and the rest of life to become a little less sharp.
As the edges soften, there is naturally a pause.
Nothing needs to be done for a moment.
There is simply the recognition that something has already begun to change.
From that pause comes willingness.
A willingness to remain with the change instead of rushing past it.
A willingness to see what happens next.
Then comes curiosity.
What is happening here?
What does this softening feel like?
Where is it moving?
As curiosity deepens, appreciation appears.
Appreciation for the ability to notice change.
Appreciation for the relaxation.
Appreciation for the opening.
Appreciation itself becomes permission for the process to continue.
From appreciation comes tenderness.
The way the body settles into a warm bath.
The way tense muscles release during a massage.
Less effort.
Less holding.
A gentle kindness toward what is being experienced.
From tenderness comes trust.
Not certainty.
Just enough trust to release another layer of holding.
Trust that it is safe to let go a little further.
As holding relaxes, the softening spreads.
What first seemed local begins to involve the whole body and mind.
From trust comes connection.
Awareness feels less separate from what it is aware of.
The distance between observer and experience begins to diminish.
From connection comes belonging.
Not belonging to an idea.
Not belonging to a group.
Belonging to the experience itself.
Like water reaching a full boil, the movement that was present from the beginning now fills the entire experience.
Love does not arrive from somewhere else.
It is the flowering of what was already unfolding.
Love was not added.
It was revealed.
Spiritual Gravity 