When I sit and look out the window, there is a subtle pervading background of awareness that shapes what I see. This background is not something I actively provide; it simply pervades my perception, coloring it with a habitual, conditioned response. The act of seeing is not pure—it is veiled by layers of desire, restlessness, boredom, and doubt. These are tendencies that I unconsciously hold onto, each one shaping how I experience the world.
Desire pulls me towards what isn’t here, restlessness creates a flickering distraction, boredom whispers that this moment is empty, and doubt questions the validity of it all. Each of these layers forms a fog that clouds the true clarity of simply seeing, simply being. But as these veils dissolve, the true essence beneath them begins to shine brighter. My true center, the essence of who I am, emerges more clearly with each passing layer. Yet, even in this clarity, the portal that connects the “is” and the “is-not,” the portal between me and everything that is not me, still feels elusive.
There is a peaceful warmth at my center, a subtle but palpable presence that begins to grow as I move deeper into this awareness. It is not a cold emptiness but a living, expansive warmth, a presence that is the pervading ground of my true essence. With each dissolution of a layer, I feel closer to this center, to the portal where all distinctions between “me” and “not me” begin to blur. Here, “is” dissolves back into “is not,” and the two become one.
The portal is not something I enter; it is something I am, and always have been. It is the space where everything and nothing meet, where the self and the world merge into a single, ungraspable whole. In this stillness, in this dissolution, the boundary between “is” and “is-not” fades into the infinite, revealing the unity that has always pervaded everything.
Spiritual Gravity 