Eating a small dish of ice cream before I go to sleep has become a habit that I occasionally break just to have some control over this evening pleasure. I guess it could be another habit that has developed to try to control the ice cream eating one.
Over time we become accustomed to certain routines or similar responses to life’s happenings. Each time we respond in a similar way it deepens the grooves in our mind and the next time it becomes even easier to repeat the same habitual response. We build up what might be called good or bad karma from our actions and interactions with others.
Sometimes right after we have reacted in a particular way we wish that we had not done that or had not said that. We had responded in an habitual way that we wish we could change. Meditation and mindfulness may be the answer.
Just as there is a gap between the end of an out-breath and the beginning of the next in- breath there is a gap between the cause and effect of the interactions between people. As the gap becomes longer between breaths there is more awareness of stillness. As the gap widens between stimulus and reactions to life the reactions can morph into a more thoughtful response.
At first the response may be a wish that I should have reacted differently. Then — I could have responded differently. Then — I thought about a different response but still got caught up in much of the habitual energy and it overwhelmed me. Then — sometimes I can keep my mouth quiet and wait for the tension to dissipate. Then — oh well there is that same trap I am happy not to fall into it again.
With mindfulness the gap can widen to allow the above morphing sequence to change an old habitual response. Start by practicing to count first one then two and then three
counts between the end of the out-breath and the beginning of the next in-breath. Then between the end of the in-breath and the beginning of the next out-breath. Especially notice the sensation of mild tension while the breath in stilled and not flowing in the gap. The key is to feel the sensation and allow it to be just as it is.
The same waiting of a count of one two or three is plenty of time in the gap between stimulus and reaction to allow a settling and in time a more measured conscious decision as to how you choose to interact with the world.
Clear seeing in the gap may transform moments of compulsion into moments of freedom.
An unskilled emotional response may gradually be transformed into a new habit of saying or doing something helpful, compassionate or loving.
Spiritual Gravity 